Some Babies Just Cry

Tiny B cried constantly for the first 7 weeks of his life. I'm not even exaggerating. It was thoroughly exhausting. I tried everything to try and stop his cries. Rocking him, feeding him, patting him, shushing him, dancing with him, wearing him in sling, singing to him, humming to him...you get the idea.

It was especially hard as I thought I had this whole parenting bizzo down, with having already parented one baby through to toddlerhood. Little C hardly ever cried and she was so easy to read. She'd squeak and you'd either feed her, change her or help her to sleep and that was it! People told us what fabulous parents we were as she was so content, and that it was because we were so calm and confident. Ha! We were, but it was thanks to Little C as she was so complacent.

About week 3 I decided that he just had to cry. Never by himself as I find that really insensitive towards anyone let alone a tiny baby, but I resolved that he just must need to cry and then one day he might stop.

I've just found this awesome blog post at naturalparentsnetwork.com "Allowing Crying Without Practising Cry-It-Out". In it she says;

The premise is that transitions are difficult, and children will struggle with them. Struggling may lead to crying, but struggling is OK. We don’t need to protect our children from struggling – we need to protect them from suffering.

So it’s OK to allow them to struggle. It’s OK to put them in situations where they’re uncomfortable. It’s OK for them to cry.

The key is how we react when they cry. Are we listening intently, or are we tuning out? Do we know if they’re panicked, or just uncomfortable? Do we know when the struggle becomes suffering?

This rings so true for me, and it's relieving to read. I sometimes felt inadequate when I couldn't calm his cries, but only on reflection after the crying episode. Whilst in the middle of it, just sitting and listening to him felt right.

Another example of where I should listen to my instincts and not question myself so much.